Warning: The story won't exactly follow the show but I'll do my best.
Focus - season 1&2&3
When I got home, my dad was already there, asking me to talk to him. But I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I just walked into my room, locked the door and threw myself onto the bed.
I could still see the way Chris looked at me when he said that it never happened. As if it meant abosulutely nothing to him. He just used me and yeah, I know he only said he wanted to epxperiment, but he was acting so... why would he kiss me afterwards? There was nothing else to experiment with, it was just a sweet kiss. Why would he watch me like that the next morning?
After I while I noticed that my pillow was wet from my tears. I hated him, that he could do this to me. I had to get back him somehow, I had to make him feel this miserable. He'll be the one asking for forgiveness.
I must have cried myself to sleep because when I woke up, it was almost midnight. Mother was sitting in the living room and my attempts to talk to her went, as expected, unnoticed. I was getting sick of her lack of interest.
I decided to head back to my room, my hands shaking with anger. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I started falling asleep, images of Chris filling my mind. That guy was getting under my skin way too fast.
Morning, after Isak decided to act like nothing happened
I had an urge to hurt him. Though I acted like I didn't care, my insides were clenching whenever I thought about it.
Jonas and I met up a school - we hugged shortly and then I suggested that we go grab a kebab after school.
"I hope you'll stop being this weird by then," he laughed as we were walking to the door.
"It's like yesterday didn't happen," I said to him, making sure that Chris and the others would hear it as we were passing them.
The more I thought about it, the happier I was that Jonas had interrupted us. If it got any further, I would have lost my virginity with Chris which would have been a disaster. This way, there was at least a slight chance that I'll get him out of my head.
The time passed quickly while we were at school. I tried to look invested in what Eva and Jonas were saying, but as soon as Chris was nowhere to be seen, I zoned off. I had to idea what they were talking about, my mind was preoccupied with Chris. It was always the same: that night and the morning after when he's said it never happened.
Jonas clapped in front of my face to get my attention. "You were daydreaming again, man," he laughed and I joined him, every single thing about it fake. Eva decided to go with us after school, and as she was telling us about Vilde and the other girls, I finally didn't think about him. I was happy for Eva because those thoughts were slowly killing me.
Each new day was worse than the previous one. I kept pretending I was having fun when Chris was around, but each evening I was falling asleep with tear tracks on my face. I felt so used, humiliated and broken. After three days, my father noticed that I wasn't eating. I didn't even realize, I didn't feel hunger.
I used to spend the weekends out with friends, partying or just chilling, but now I spent them playing counter strike and losing every time.
In the evenings, I was replaying the scenarios that were never gonna happen and each time I realized that I meant nothing to Chris, that I was just his lab rat, a fuck toy, I felt awful. I felt empty. The crying was overwhelming, I couldn't be happy, I couldn't have fun, couldn't do anything, really.
After another week of pretending, Eva, Jonas and I went to a cabin for
the weekend. It was wonderful - I didn't think about Chris at all. But, of course, it all began once again on Monday. I thought my life couldn't get any worse, but then, I met the Yakuza guys.
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